Music to my ears

I have been struggeling with my mood these last few weeks – It’s partly the weather that always does this to me when it turns from golden october to grey november …

But when I say struggeling with my mood I also mean to say struggeling with the image I have of myself and that has little to do with the weather…
You can be your own worst critic and find all the flaws that truthfully – no one else cares about.

I saw this picture of Kim Kardashian which is currently receiving a LOT of coverage (which is kind of the point I guess):

kim

And it baffles me. Maybe I am a little bit jealous… on second thoughts actually I’m not – can you imagine trying to find a jeans to fit that kind of disproportion of waist and butt ?! … 😉
But mainly I am incredibly concerned … why does a picture like this need to be publicized in the way it is …
In my opinion a picture like this belongs in a porn magazine … I apologize if this opinion offends anyone but really ?!

It concerns me because it is one of a thousand pictures like it, that my children will undoubtedly get to see while they are growing up…
Will my “You are beautiful exactly the way you are and don’t need to measure your self worth by your dress size or the number of likes you get on a selfie” carry enough weight to counteract the images they will be bombarded with day in day out …

How do I teach them to respect and cherish their amazing, beautiful bodies when every tabloid, advertisement and latest pop star makes them feel like they have to change themselves to fit into the image that society tries to force upon them ?
How can I convincingly convey to them to love their perfect imperfect bodies when I can’t even seem love my own ?!

I get incredibly frustrated with myself because I am so very lucky with all that I have – and yet my mood gets affected in such a drastic way when I have a bad body image day …

But It is such a difficult thing to escape – woven into every fibre of the fabric of our culture…
While at the same time it is also inarguably the most unimportant …

Does it really matter how you look ?
Surely life is far too short to be chasing a level of perfection very very few people will ever achieve without the help of photoshop or a scalpel …

My children look the most adorable to me when they have dirt on their faces, windswept hair and rosy cheeks…
My husband is never more beautiful than when his hair is a mess and he smiles at me cheekily over his cup of tea on a weekend morning…
The fondest memories I have of my friends are when we were doing silly stuff and laughing until our bellies hurt…

I don’t remember the day my hair, clothes and make up were perfect and I felt beautiful – and there have been plenty of them don’t get me wrong … I don’t constantly feel sorry for myself or drown in self loathing …
But while looking good may sometimes seem important to me in the present – it is not the stuff that really matters when you look back …

I do however remember the day I got caught out in a thunderstorm with craig and we got soaked through to the skin…
I do remember lying in bed watching him dance with our baby girl in the sunshine that came streaming in through the window…
I do remember the evenings spent with my best friend in pyjamas watching a movie and talking and laughing…

I think you get my point …

Our bodies are beautiful not despite the imperfections but because of them …
The wrinkles we have around our eyes are a mark of our characters and part of who we are – do we laugh or frown a lot ?
The stretchmarks on our post partum bellies a memento of the life we created, carried and brought into the world …
The scars on our knees trophies of the efforts we went through to score that winning goal…
The grey hair a gentle reminder that nothing lasts forever and moments are there to be cheriched not wasted …

I believe that out of all our Friends and Family members I am probably one of, if not the heaviest … and ironically that can make me feel very sad and small sometimes…
But what do I achieve by dwelling on the negative things about myself … What does anyone achieve by trying to change their appearance…
As I said before – life is too short … I know it is totally cliche but a police officer could knock on your door tomorrow telling you a beloved family member got killed in a car crash… You could take your child to a doctor for a headache and have him or her diagnosed with cancer … It’s a glum way of looking at things but it can also act as a reality check …
There is an awful lot of people in the world that don’t have the first idea where their next meal is coming from and yet here we are – the “developed world” worrying about whether or not our foundation matches our skin tone…

The music industry (amongst others) have a big part to play in what aspirations our children have and who their idols end up being … and there is a vast amount of bad influences to be found here … with swear words, objectifying women, twerking …
(There’s also some with a great message conveyed in a not so great way – atrocious language still irritates me no matter how great the cause… and a bitch is a female dog – not a woman …)

But there is also some really great ones…
Music speaks to people – especially young people – like few other media sources, and the simple fact that these gems exist gives me a little bit of confidence that not all is lost yet …

I came across these today and they were a great mood lifter … the last one is actually a parody of the second one but I think they both make a very valid point 😉


I have no idea what music my little ones will be listening to one day but I do hope they won’t have to listen to it to make them feel good about themselves – because they could not be anything other than perfect, no matter what … in my humble opinion 😉

Some perfect imperfect photographs to round things off :

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Until next time…

Ta da

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